The freaky mahine

One day, Pete complained to his friend,"My elbow
really hurts. I guess I
should see a doctor."
His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at
the drug store that
can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a
doctor. Simply put in a
sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose
your problem and tell
you what you can do about it It only costs $10.00."
Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a
jar with a urine sample
and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he
poured in the sample
and deposited the $10.00. The computer started making
some noise and various
lights started flashing.
After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper,
which read: You have
tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy
labor. It will be
better in two weeks.
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new
technology was and how it
would change medical science forever, he be gan to
wonder if this could be
fooled. He decided to give it a try.
He mixed together some tap water,a stool sample from
his dog,and urine
samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he
masturbated into the
concoction.
He went back to the drug store, located the computer,
poured in the sample
and deposited the $10.00. The machine again made the
usual noises, flashed
lights,and printed out the following analysis:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal
shampoo.
3. Your daughter is gettin' screwed by three guys at
the same time and
having urinary infection. Put her on antibiotic and
keep a track of her
outings.
4. Your wife is pregnant . . twin girls. They aren't
yours. Get a lawyer.
5. And bastard,....... if you don't stop jerking
off,your elbow will never
get better !!!!!!!