Priceless

A guy woke up at home with a huge hangover. He forced himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sat down and saw his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looked around the room and saw that it is in perfect order, ...spotless, ...clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table.

"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love
You!"

So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.

His son is also at the table, eating. Rohit asks, "Son, what happened last night?"

His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door". Confused, he asked, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!"

His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said , "hey !!!!!!! leave me alone! I'm married!"

Moral

Breakfast -- Rs. 100.00

Self-induced hangover -- Rs. 2000.00

Broken furniture -- Rs. 20,000.00

Saying The Right Thing While Drunk - "PRICELESS" !!!!!!!!!!!!

Actual writings on some patient's cards at Kenyatta Hospital

* Actual writings on some patient's cards at Kenyatta Hospital
*
1. She has no rigours or shaking chills, but her husband states she was
very hot in bed last night.
2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it
disappeared.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be
depressed
5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but
forgetful.
8. The patient refused autopsy.
9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital
11. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with
only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
13. She is numb from her toes down.
14. While in ER she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
15. The skin was moist and dry.
16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid .(!!)
19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until
she got a divorce.
20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical
therapy.
21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
23. The lab test indicated abnormal over function.
24. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as
a stockbroker instead.
25. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
26. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
27. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Wangui, who felt we should
sit on the abdomen and I agree.
28. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
29. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
 

 

~Nishant

FW: ~~~5O mOre faCts~~~

 

---

From: Kiran Shekhar (RBIN/ECR3)
Sent: Thursday, 17. May 2007 4:04 PM
To: Ankur Sharma (RBIN/ECR3)
Subject: FW: ~~~5O mOre faCts~~~

 

 

Kiran G Shekhar
ECR-3 / Kor 905
Extn-66574391

 

---

From: Thanuja G (RBIN/ECA1)
Sent: Thursday, 17. May 2007 3:04 PM
To: Sandhya Peravali (RBIN/ECA1); Suhas Shah (RBIN/ECA1); Saravana K (RBIN/ECA1); Balasubramani V (RBIN/ECA1); Vanishree A C (RBIN/ECA1); Kiran Shekhar (RBIN/ECR3)
Subject: FW: ~~~5O mOre faCts~~~

 

---

From: Prashanth J Rao [mailto:Prashanth.J@synopsys.com]
Sent: Thursday, 17. May 2007 10:33 AM
To: Naveen R Baratanki; Siddharth Patil (RBIN/ECC2); Ravindra Manturgi (RBIN/EDI1); Hari ri; Parveen Taj; banu prakash; Soumya; Asha Joshi (RBIN/EDT-T1); Bhagyashri Mayya; Jyothi Balehosur (B'gloreauto); priya nebhwani; Thanuja G (RBIN/ECA1); chandrika av; Kirti Nadagouda (RBIN/ECC1)
Subject: ~~~5O mOre faCts~~~

 

1. Look at your zipper. See the initials YKK? It stands for Yoshida Kogyo Kabushibibaisha, the world's largest zipper manufacturer.
2. A raisin dropped in a glass of freshchampagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.


3. A duck's quack doesn't echo. No one knows why.
4. 40 percent of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.
5. 315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.


6. On the average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily.


7. Chocolate kills dogs! True, chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system. A few ounces is enough to kill a small sized dog.


8. Most lipstick contains fish scales.


9. Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as a medicine.


10. Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time.
11. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.


12. There are no clocks in Las Vegas g@mbling casin0s.
13. Leonardo da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa's lips.


14. Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to slow a film down so you could see his moves. That's the opposite of the norm.


15. The original name for the butterfly was "flutterby"!
16. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can't sink in quicksand.
17. Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.
18. Dentists recommend that a toothbrush be kept at least six feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.


19. The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.
20. The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.


21. Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than the entire Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.


22. Marilyn Monroe had six toes on one foot.


23. Adolf Hitler's mother seriously considered having an abortion but was talked out of it by her doctor.
24. The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.


25. "Stewardesses" is the longest word that can be typed with only the left hand.
26. To escape the grip of a crocodile's jaws, prick your fingers into its eyeballs. It will let you go instantly.
27. A mathematical wonder: 111,111,111 multiplied by 111,111,111 gives the result 12, 345, 678, 987, 654, 321.
28. The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

29. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
30. The "pound" (#) key on your keyboard is called an octothorp.
31. The only domestic animal not mentioned in the Bible is the cat.
32. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
33. The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
34. "Dreamt" is the only word in the English language that ends in "mt".
35. It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
36. In Chinese, the KFC slogan "finger lickin' good" comes out as "eat your fingers off".
37. A cockroach can live for 10 days without a head.
39. We shed 40 pounds of skin a lifetime.

40. Yo-Yos were once used as weapons in the Philippines.
41. Coca-Cola can be used as car oil.
42. Mexico City sinks abut 10 inches a year.
43. Brains are more active sleeping than watching TV.
44. Blue is the favorite color of 80 percent of Americans.
45. When a person shakes their head from side to side, he is saying "yes" in Sri Lanka.


46. There are more chickens than people in the world.


47. It's against the law in Iceland to have a dog.


48. The thumbnail grows the slowest, and the middle nail grows the fastest.
49. The only word in the English Language with all vowels in reverse order is "s ub c ont in ent al".


50. There are more telephones than people in Washington, D.C.

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