Tuesday, August 21, 2007

One liners from Dilbert

Dilbert's one liners


1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen.

3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.

4. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.

5. When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane.

6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train.

7. Born free, taxed to death.

8. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

9. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.

12. It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.

13. I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.

14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and
the blinking red light.

16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate
it.

17. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?

18. If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?

19. Beat the 5 O'clock rush, leave work at noon!

20. If you can't convince them, confuse them.

21. It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.

22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass. - Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers

24. The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.

25. Someday is not a day of the week.

--
Nishant V. Patel

HOW WAS I BORN?

DADDY! HOW WAS I BORN?" Junior asks his dad,
His dad, who is a software engineer sighs and replies,
"Ah, my son, I guess one day you would have to find out anyway!"
"Well, I saw your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on MSN.
Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a
Cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother Agreed
to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to Upload, we
discovered that neither One of us had used a firewall, but it was too
late to hit the delete Button."

"Six weeks later your mom sent me an instant message Saying that her
operating system was showing signs of unauthorized Program activity
from a self extracting file which had implanted In her BIOS. Then nine
months later a little Pop-Up appeared And said: You've Got Male'!"

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