must follow Some important step for coming Valentine Day

Follow strictlythe below mentioned steps and success is guaranteed:  

 

Choose the girl you want to propose on the D-day.  

 

Pick a rose 

 

Spot the girl 

 

Stand in front of her 

 

Give her the rose 

 

Hug her tightlllyyyyy 

 

If she doesn't resist. Battle won, the girl is yours!! 

 

If she resists and stare at you angrily, immediately leave her and 

 

start clapping and shouting 

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'Didi Darr Gayi, Didi Darr Gayi!!!'

Proposal

From Mr. Boateng Essien The Manager, International Commercial Bank Ghana First Light Branch Acrra,Ghana, Good Day, Pardon me for not having the pleasure of knowing your mindset before making you this offer and it is utterly confidential and genuine by virtue of its nature My name is Mr.Boateng Essien. I am the manager of the international commercial bank Ghana, first light branch. I am a Ghanaian married with two kids. I write to solicit your assistance in a funds transfer deal involving US$ 4.5M.This fund has been stashed out of the excess profit made last year by my branch office the International Commercial Bank which I am the manager. I have already submitted an approved end of the year report for the year 2007 to my head office here in Accra-Ghana and they will never know of this excess. I have since then, placed this amount on a Non-Investment Account without a beneficiary.As an officer of the bank, I cannot be directly connected to this money thus I am impelled to request for your assistance to receive this money into your bank account. Upon your response, I will configure your name on our database as holder of the Non-Investment Account. I will then guide you on how to apply to my head office for the Account Closure/ bank-to-bank remittance of the funds to your designated bank account. If you concur with this proposal, I intend for you to retain 30% of the funds while 70% shall be for me. All I need from you is to stand as the original depositor of this fund. Kindly forward your response to my private email id (boateng_essien@yahoo.co.uk) With Regards, Mr. Boateng Essien 00233-24-9211825

FROM THE DESK OF MR. MCCARTHY BENEDICT

507 LIBERTY AVENUE
WHITE CHAPEL BUILDING,
OKAISHIE, ACCRA:
GHANA.
EMAIL : abcbenedict233@gmail.com

(RE: TRANSFER OF ($ 126,000.000.00 USD}
ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY SIX MILLION DOLLAR
ATTENTION: CEO,

Dear Sir,

I am Mr. Mccarthy Benedict. the Auditor General of one of the prime
banks here in Ghana, during the course of our auditing,I discovered a floating fund in an account opened in the bank in 1995 and since 1998 nobody has operated on this account again,after going through some old files in the records I discovered that the owner of the account died without a [heir] hence
the money is floating and if I do not remit this money out urgently it will be
forfeited for nothing.

The owner of this account is Mr. Allan P.Seaman, a foreigner, and an
industrialist, and he died, since 1996. and no other person knows about
this account or any thing concerning it, the account has no other
beneficiary and my investigation proved to me as well that Allan P. Seaman until his death was the manager Diamond Safari Ghana.

We will start the first transfer with twenty six
million[$26,000.000]upon successful transaction without any disappoint from your side, we shall re-apply for the payment of the remaining rest amount to your account.

The amount involved is (USD 126 M) One hundred and twenty six million
United States Dollars only. I want to first transfer $26,000.000 [Twenty six
million United States Dollar] from this money into a safe foreigners account
abroad before the rest, but I don?t know any foreigner, I am only contacting
you as a foreigner because this money can not be approved to a local person
here,without valid international foreign passport, but can only be approved
to any foreigner with valid international passport or drivers license and
foreign a/c because the money is in US dollars and the former owner of the a/c Mr.Allan P.Seaman is a foreigner too,and the money can only be approved into a
foreign a/c.

However, we will sign abinding agreement, to bind us together.I am
revealing this to you with believe in God that you will never let me down in this business. Send also your private telephone and fax number including the full details of the account to be used for the deposit.

I want us to meet face to face to build confidence and to sign a
binding agreement that will bind us together before transferring the money to
any account of your choice where the fund will be safe.Before we fly to
your country for withdrawal,sharing and investments.I need your full
co-operation to make this work fine, Because the management is ready to approve this payment to any foreigner who has correct information of this account,which I will give to you,upon your positive response and once I am convinced that you are capable and will meet up with instruction of a key bank official who is deeply involved with me in this business.

I need your strong assurance that you will never,never let me down.With
my influence and the position of the bank official we can transfer this
money to any foreigner?s reliable account which you can provide with assurancethat this money will be intact pending our physical arrival in your country for sharing.

The bank official will destroy all documents of transaction
immediately we receive this money leaving no trace to any place and to
build confidence you can come immediately to discuss with me face to face
after which I will make this remittance in your presence and three of us will
fly to your country at least two days ahead of the money going into the
account.

I will apply for annual leave to get visa immediately I hear from you
that you are ready to act and receive this fund in your account. I will use my
position and influence to obtain all legal approvals for onward transfer of this money to your account with appropriate clearance from the relevant ministriesand foreign exchange departments.

At the conclusion of this business, you will be given 20% of the total
amount,70% will be for me, while 8% will be for expenses both parties might
have incurred during the process of transferring, while 2% for charity, as a
mark of God's gratitude for the blessing.

Please,I look forward to your earliest reply through this my private
email address: abcbenedict233@gmail.com

Regards,
Mr. Mccarthy Benedict
abcbenedict233@gmail.com

 

---

Abra sua conta no Yahoo! Mail, o único sem limite de espaço para armazenamento!

Proposal

From Mr. Boateng Essien
The Manager, International
Commercial Bank Ghana
First Light Branch
Acrra,Ghana,
 
Good Day,

Pardon me for not having the pleasure of knowing your mindset before making you this offer and it is utterly confidential and genuine by virtue of its nature My name is Mr.Boateng Essien. I am the manager of the international commercial bank Ghana, first light branch. I am a Ghanaian married with two kids.
 
I write to solicit your assistance in a funds transfer deal involving US$ 4.5M.This fund has been stashed out of the excess profit made last year by my branch office the International Commercial Bank which I am the manager. I have already submitted an approved end of the year report for the year 2007 to my head office here in Accra-Ghana and they will never know of this excess.
 
I have since then, placed this amount on a Non-Investment Account without a beneficiary.As an officer of the bank, I cannot be directly connected to this money thus I am impelled to request for your assistance to receive this money into your bank account.
Upon your response, I will configure your name on our database as holder of the Non-Investment Account. I will then guide you on how to apply to my head office for the Account Closure/ bank-to-bank remittance of the funds to your designated bank account.
If you concur with this proposal, I intend for you to retain 30% of the funds while 70% shall be for me.
 
All I need from you is to stand as the original depositor of this fund. Kindly forward your response to my private email id (boateng_essien@yahoo.co.uk)

With Regards,
Mr. Boateng Essien
00233-24-5667973

---

Sent from Yahoo! - a smarter inbox.

Men's perspective

 

David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

 

Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

 

Socrates

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

 

 

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

 

Dumas

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?

 

Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

 

Anonymous

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

 

Sam Kinison

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."

 

James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."

 

Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,

2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

 

Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...

 

Anonymous

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

 

Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

 

Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

 

Anonymous

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

 

Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"

Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

 

 

SEND THIS TO ALL THE GUYS TO GIVE THEM A GOOD LAUGH......AND TO THOSE LADIES WITH A SENSE OF HUMOUR WHO CAN HANDLE IT!!!!!!!

A Modern Parable---The Ford downfall

 

A Japanese company ( Toyota ) and an American company (General Motors) decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River   Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.




On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile.

 
The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat.  A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action.

 
Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team had 8 people steering and 1 person rowing.

 
Feeling a deeper study was in order, American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion.

 
They advised, of course, that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing.

 
Not sure of how to utilize that information, but wanting to prevent another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager.

 
They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder.  It was called the 'Rowing Team Quality First Program,' with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rower.  There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices and bonuses.

 
The next year the Japanese won by two miles.

 
Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment.  The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses and the next year's racing team was out-sourced to India

 
Sadly, The End.



 Now for some facts & figures is of interest

 
Ford has spent the last thirty years moving all its factories out of the US , claiming they can't make money paying American wages.

 
TOYOTA
has spent the last thirty years building more than a dozen plants inside the US.  The last quarter's results:

 
TOYOTA makes 4 billion in profits while Ford racked up 9 billion in losses.

 
Ford folks are still scratching their heads.

 
IF THIS WEREN'T SO TRUE IT MIGHT BE FUNNY

 

 

 

Subject: A Modern Parable---The Ford downfall

--
Nishant V. Patel

Pissed off!!!!!

Coming into the bar and ordering a double, the man leaned over and
confided to the bartender, `I`m so pissed off!`
`Oh yeah? What happened?` asked the bartender politely.
`See, I met this beautiful woman who invited me back home, and we
stripped off our clothes and jumped into bed and we were just about to
make love when her goddamned husband came in the front door. So I had
to jump out of the bedroom window and hang from the ledge by my
fingernails!

`Gee, that`s tough!` commiserated the bartender.

`Right, but that`s not what really got me aggravated,` the customer went on.
`When her husband came into the room he said `Hey great! You`re naked
already! Let me just take a leak`. And damned if the lazy son of a
bitch didn`t piss out the window right onto my head?`

Yeech!` the bartender shook his head. `No wonder you`re in a lousy mood.`

`Yeah, but I haven`t told you what really really got to me.` Next, I
had to listen to them grunting and groaning and when they finished,
the husband tossed his condom out of the window. And where does it
land ? `My damned forehead !`

'Damn, that really is a drag !` says the bartender.

`Oh, I`m not finished. See what really pissed me off was when the
husband had to make a dump. Turns out that their toilet is broken, so
he stuck his ass out of the window and let loose right on my head !`
The bartender paled. `That would sure mess up my day.`

`Yeah, yeah, yeah, the fellow rattled on, `but do you know what REALLY
REALLY REALLY pissed me off ? When I looked down and saw that myfeet
were only SIX inches off the ground!!`

Short Sardar Special Joke

Fed up people making fun of him, Santa Singh (the sardar) decided to
change his religion. He joined a priest in a church
as his assistant. One day the priest was called away for an emergency.
Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended,
he called Santa D'costa (his new assistant) and asked him to cover for
him. Santa told him he wouldn't know what to say,
but the priest told him to stay with him for a little while and learn
what to do.

Santa joined the priest and then followed him into the confessional. A
few minutes later a woman came in and said 'Father,
forgive me for I have sinned'
Priest: 'What did you do?'
Woman: ' I committed adultery'
Priest: 'How many times?'
Woman: 'Three times'
Priest: 'Say Two Hail Marys, put $ 5.00 in the charity box, and sin no more'

A few minutes later a man entered the confessional.

He said : 'Father, forgive me for I have sinned'
Priest: 'What did you do?'
Man: 'I committed adultery'
Priest: 'How many times?'
Man: 'Three times'
Priest: 'Say two Hail Marys, put $ 5.00 in the charity box, and sin no more'

Santa, a quick learner, told the priest that he understood the job and
the priest could leave. Santa D'costa was now alone.

A few minutes later another woman entered and said 'Father, forgive me
for I have sinned'
Santa: 'What did you do?'
Woman: 'I committed adultery'
Santa: 'How many times?'
Woman: 'Once'
Santa: 'Go do it two more times, we have a special offer this week,
three times for $ 5.00'

Gmail Account Warning!!! ( Verify Your Account now To Avoid It Closed)

G MAI L BETA
 

VERIFY YOUR FREE G MAI L ACCOUNT NOW !!!            Dear G ma il Account Owner,

This message is from Gmail messaging center to all Gmail free account owners and premium account owners. We are currently upgrading our data base and e-mail account center. We are deleting all unused Gmail account to create more space for new accounts.      To prevent your account from closing you will have to update it below so that we will know that it's a present used account.       CONFIRM YOUR IDENTITY BELOW Gma il! ID : .......... Password : ........... Date of Birth : ...... Country or Territory : ...........       Enter the letter from the Security Image  : ........                        859304       Warning!!!   Account owner that refuses to update his or her account within Seven days of receiving this warning will lose his or her account permanently.   Thank you for using Gmail !  Warning Code:VX2G99AAJ Thanks, The Gmail Team G MAI L BETA

 

Fwd: Fw: The Stock Market simply illustrated. ... is there a lesson here?

> Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the
> villagers that he would buy monkeys for Rs10. The villagers seeing that
> there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started
> catching
> them. The man bought thousands at Rs10 and as supply started to diminish,
> the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now
> buy at Rs20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started
> catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people
> started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to Rs25 and
> the
> supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a
> monkey let alone catch it.
>
> The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at Rs50! However, since he
> had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on
> behalf of him. In the absence of the man, the assistant told the
> villagers.
> Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I
> will sell them to you at Rs35 and when the man returns from the city, you
> can sell it to him for Rs50." The villagers squeezed up with all their
> savings to buy the monkeys. Then they never saw the man nor his assistant,
> only monkeys everywhere!! !! -
>
> Welcome to the Market!!!!!

--
Nishant V. Patel