Fwd: Income tax officer

The income tax officer decides to audit businessman Kewalramani, and
summons him to the income tax office.

The officer is not surprised when Kewalramani shows up with his
attorney, Jamshedji..

The officer says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no
full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you won money
gambling. I'm not sure the income tax finds that believable."

"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Kewalramani. "How
about a demonstration? "

The officer thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."

Kewalramani says, "I'll bet you ten thousand rupees that I can bite my own eye."

The officer thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet."

Kewalramani removes his glass eye and bites it.

The officer's jaw drops.

Kewalramani says, "Now, I'll bet you Twenty Thousand rupees that I can
bite my other eye."

The officer can tell Kewalramani isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Kewalramani removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned officer now realizes he has wagered and lost Thirty
thousand rupees, with Jamshedji as a witness.

He starts to get nervous.

"Want to go double or nothing?" Kewalramani asks.

"I'll bet you Sixty Thousand rupees that I can stand on one side of
your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never
get a drop anywhere in between."

The officer, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and
Decides there's no way this guy can manage that stunt, So he agrees
again.

Kewalramani stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although
he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on
other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the desk.

The officer leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major
loss Into a huge win.

But Jamshedji moans and puts his head in his hands.

"Are you okay?" the officer asks.

"Not really," says Jamshedji, the attorney.

"This morning, when Kewalramani told me he'd been summoned for an
audit, he bet me One Hundred Thousand Rupees that he could come in
here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it."

THE INDIAN WAY OF DOING THINGS- Divorce and Businessdeals.

THE INDIAN WAY OF DOING THINGS- Divorce

After 48 years of marriage, an elderly Sindhi man in Bombay calls his
son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to
tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 45 years of
misery is enough!"

"Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says.

"We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about
this,so you call
your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!"

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.
"Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this."
She calls Bombay immediately, and screams at the old man,
"You are not getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get
there. I'm calling my
Brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow.Until then, don't do a
thing, DO YOU HEAR??" and she hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay", he says,
"It's all set. They're both coming for Diwali and paying
their own airfare!!"
WHAT A BRIGHT IDEA TO BRING BACK OUR CHILDREAN HOME!!!

SYL

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THE INDIAN WAY OF DOING THINGS- Business

Three contractors . . . one from India, another from Germany and the
third from England are bidding to repair the White House fence. They go
with a White House official to examine the fence.

The English contractor takes out a tape measure and does some
measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says. "I
figure the job will run $900 . . . $400 for materials, $400 for labour
and $100 profit for me."

The German contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says,
"I can do this job for $700 . . . $300 for materials, $300 for my crew
and $100 profit for me."

The Indian contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the
White House official and whispers: "$2,700."

The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the
other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"

"Easy," the Indian explains, "$1,000 for you, $1,000 for me and we hire
the guy from Germany to do the work."