Wednesday, May 23, 2007

FW: The 100 Best Products of 2007

The Number 1 Product of the Year

Google Apps

1. Google Apps Premier Edition
(Web applications; $50 per user per year) Google is much more than just a search engine, and with its invaluable Google Apps suite, the company is well on its way to challenging Microsoft for productivity-suite supremacy. Google's Docs & Spreadsheets (soon to be joined by a PowerPoint-esque presentation application) already makes for an interesting alternative to Microsoft Office. Combine it with Gmail, Google Talk, and Google Calendar, and suddenly nearly all of your basic productivity programs and data can be available online.

For small businesses that need more than the free versions offer, Google Apps Premier Edition adds capacity, support services, and tools for integrating existing infrastructure so that all your employees can use Google's powerful Web apps--no matter where they are. Printouts may never die, but if Google has its way, the office-less office may become a reality long before the paperless one does.   Vendor Site

 

Intel Core 2 Duo

2. Intel Core 2 Duo
(desktop CPU; $150 and up) It's superfast, it's not too expensive, and it uses less energy than its predecessor does. But could Core 2 Duo be too good? Unless AMD can respond to its startling success, the absence of competition could drive up desktop PC prices. That's how terrific this CPU is.
   

Wii

3. Nintendo Wii
(game console; $250) Readers went gaga for the first game console to get nongamers hooked on gaming, nominating it more than any other product. With motion-sensitive controls and a slate of fun games for all ages, Nintendo really has something with the Wii. Now if only we could find one for sale...
   

Verizon FiOS

4. Verizon FiOS
(Internet service; $40 per month and up) Supplying enough bandwidth to offer IPTV plus Internet access at up to 30 megabits per second, fiber is the way of the future. As of this writing, FiOS users on BroadbandReports.com gave the service an 84 percent satisfaction rating.
Vendor Site

BlackBerry 8800

5. RIM Blackberry 8800
(smart phone; $350 with two-year contract) Take one sweet smart phone, and add GPS. With no camera but some serious e-mail mojo, the 8800 is all business.
   

6. Parallels Desktop
(virtualization software; $80) A Mac OS application in PC World's Top 10? You bet. With a simple interface and improving 3D acceleration, Parallels offers the slickest way to run Windows (or any other OS) on Apple's beautifully designed Intel-based hardware.
   

Pioneer Elite PRO-FHD1

7. Pioneer Elite 1080p PRO-FHD1
(plasma HDTV; $8000) In a crowded field of nice-looking HDTVs, Pioneer's high-res Elite series plasma stands alone as the display that everyone wants. If you have the means, we highly recommend it.
 

Infrant ReadyNAS

8. Infrant Technologies ReadyNAS NV
(network-attached storage device; $900) Great for backups or shared storage, Infrant's 1TB ReadyNAS performs well and includes helpful features such as uPNP support and a built-in print server.
 

9. Apple Mac OS X 10.4 "Tiger"
(operating system; $129) Quick: Name a good Vista feature that goes beyond what's in Tiger. Yeah, we can't either.
   

Adobe Premiere Elements 3

10. Adobe Premiere Elements 3
(video-editing software; $99) Like the rest of Adobe's Elements products, Premiere gives you just the video editing features you need at a reasonable price.
   

 

Apple TV

11. Apple TV
(media-streaming device; $299) Apple's media streamer focuses on doing a beautiful job at a few key tasks. Now that it's out in the wild, hackers can focus on making it do a bunch more cool things.
   

Samsung SyncMaster 244T

12. Samsung Syncmaster 244T
(wide-screen monitor; $700) The 24-inch wide-screen LCD has been this year's hot display format, and Samsung's model is one of the best, with outstanding image quality and lots of useful features.
   

WinPatrol

13. BillP Studios WinPatrol
(system utility; free) When programs install themselves, WinPatrol watches your back, ensuring that tray icons, update checkers, and other random junk show up on your PC only if you allow them.
 

HP dv9000t

14. HP dv9000t
(power notebook; starts at $1099) This attractive 17-inch notebook is a terrific performer when properly equipped. An optional HD DVD drive lets you rock the HD movies on its WXGA+ screen.
   

McAfee SiteAdvisor

15. McAfee SiteAdvisor
(security software; free) The free version of SiteAdvisor can warn you away from spyware, adware, or phishing sites before you visit them, giving you some peace of mind during your Web surfing.
 

16. Ubuntu 7.04
(operating system; free) Fast and friendly, Ubuntu has solidified itself as the one Linux distribution that Linux geeks love and newbies can comfortably use. Even Dell turned to the 7.04 version of Ubuntu when it announced its intention to preload some systems with Linux.

Pandora

17. Pandora.com
(digital music site; free) Sadly, the current scrap over Internet-radio royalty payments may turn this award into a eulogy for Pandora, a nifty Internet radio service that learns your preferences and plays songs you've never heard but will probably like.
 

Xbox 360 Elite

18. Microsoft Xbox 360 Elite
(game console; $480) The high-end Xbox 360 now ships with 1080p support and a 120GB hard drive, but it's the Xbox Live service, and the games and able video on it, that make Microsoft's console really shine.
   

19. Paint.net
(image editing software; free) This open-source photo editing application packs tons of muscle into a measly 1.3MB  that doesn't cost a dime. Impressive.
 

20. Hitachi Deskstar 7K1000
(hard drive; $399) Sure, it's pricey, but Hitachi's 1TB monster isn't just a big hard drive: It aced our performance tests.
   

 

21. SightSpeed 6
(videoconferencing software; free) The best videoconferencing app we've tested improved further in version 6 with a tabbed interface for contacts. Even better: SightSpeed is still free.

22. Kayak
(travel site; free) This travel search engine consistently digs up the best deals on airfare, hotels, and rentals by searching though a vast range of sites and databases.
Web Site

23. Nikon D40X
(digital SLR camera; $599) Nikon's shockingly affordable entry-level digital SLR includes a capable help system so that SLR newbies can get the most out of the camera.

24. Times Reader
(news viewer; $15 per month after free trial) More than just a nifty Vista demo, Times Reader is an entirely new way to consume news.  it and treat yourself to New York Times stories in a format that's as clickable as a Web page but as readable as print.
Vendor Site

Samsung BlackJack

25. Samsung BlackJack
(smart phone; $150) This Windows Mobile-based smart phone for Cingular's 3G HSDPA service beats the Motorola Q at its own game. It's thin, light, multimedia-savvy, and of course a great device for e-mail and text messaging.
   

Apple 80GB iPod

26. Apple iPod, 80GB
(MP3 player; $349) Apple may not want to proclaim it the true video iPod, but this 80GB model is more than capable of storing a complete MP3 collection along with a few movies and TV shows.
Test Report   

27. Yahoo Mail Beta
(Web-based e-mail; free) Its Ajax interface makes it the closest yet to Outlook in your browser--without the security holes.
Vendor Site

TomTom One

28. TomTom One
(GPS navigation system; $499) With high-quality maps, clear driving directions, and a slim LCD screen, the TomTom One is the in-car GPS unit lots of people were waiting for.
   

29. Dell Ultrasharp 2407WFP
(wide-screen monitor; $669) Samsung's wide-screen display may look a bit better, but Dell's frequent discounts make this 24-inch monitor particularly affordable.
  

30. Zoho
(office suite; free) Integration gives Google's online office suite the overall edge, but the polished interface of Zoho's offering has its fans. Zoho Writer is particularly good.

 

31. Gmail
(Web-based e-mail service; free) Whether in storage capacity, searchability, or raw speed, Google's Gmail feels like e-mail without limits.
Vendor Site

Slingbox Pro

Photograph: Marc Simon

32. Sling Media Slingbox Pro
(media-streaming device; $249) Send live or recorded media to any Net-linked device with a browser.
 

33. Red Octane Guitar Hero 2
(video game; $90) Shredding your way through an array of classic guitar rock anthems has never been so much fun.
Video   

34. YouTube
(video site; free) Is there a better way to waste time on the Web? If so, we haven't found it. We'll keep looking after we watch just one more video.
Vendor Site

Firefox

35. Mozilla Firefox 2
(Web browser; free) Sure, Microsoft eventually did some nice things with IE 7, but why even bother with that browser if you don't have to? Firefox is secure, free, and always improving.
 

36. Google Picasa
(image editor; free) Google's no-cost app makes organizing, renaming, and sharing photos as easy as...well, a Google search.

37. Nikon D80
(digital SLR camera; $1200) Ultrafast response time, beautiful photo quality, and convenient, useful features such as in-camera photo editing--what more could you want from a high-quality digital SLR model?
  

Skype

38. Skype 3
(VoIP software/service; unlimited calling, $68 per year) Though Skype may not replace a landline, the service makes VoIP calling easy--and cheap.
 

39. Aliph Jawbone
(headset; $120) Now that Aliph's attractive noise-canceling headset has gone wireless, the Jawbone is indisputably the coolest way to look like you're talking to yourself.
  

40. Shure E500PTH
(headphones; $499) The innovative push-to-hear module pipes in sounds from the outside at the flick of a switch. These audio-isolating headphones otherwise keep you immersed in a pristine sonic environment.
  

 

CyberPower Gamer Infinity Ultimate

Photograph: Marc Simon

41. CyberPower Gamer Infinity Ultimate
(power desktop; $4399 as last tested) Chock-full of high-end options, CyberPower's Gamer Infinity Ultimate PCs have consistently placed near the top of our power-PC charts on the strength of their components and (relatively) reasonable prices.
   

42. Asus w5fe-2P025E
(ultraportable notebook; $2199) One of the first Windows Vista SideShow notebooks, Asus's 12.1-inch w5fe packs enough power for an everyday machine.
  

43. AVS Forum
(Web forum; free) You'll find the best info on all things home entertainment--from the latest HD sets and players to cable-quality myths--at this revered Web forum.
Web Site

44. Flickr
(photo-sharing site; free) Yahoo's photo-sharing site is fun and fast by itself--but all the little apps that are built around Flickr make it one of the best services available.

45. Apple iPod Nano
(MP3 player; $149 and up) Now with up to 8GB of capacity, Apple's flash player can hold more than enough music for casual listeners in a package the size of a few business cards.

Nikon Coolpix S50c

46. Nikon Coolpix S50c
(point-and-shoot digital camera; $350) Built-in Wi-Fi, a 3-inch LCD, and direct uploads to Flickr (see #44) are the highlights of this thin little point-and-shoot.
 

47. Dell Ultrasharp 2007WFP
(wide-screen monitor; $390) If you can't afford to step up to a full 24-inch wide-screen LCD, 20-inchers like this Dell are your next best bet.
  

48. OCZ Trifecta Secure Digital Memory Card
(flash memory; $25 and up) This superfast microSD flash card from an enthusiast memory maker comes bundled with an SD Card adapter that's equipped with a flip-down USB adapter.

49. Archos 704 WiFi
(portable media player; $549) Is it a video player or a PDA? Archos's 704-WiFi is a bit of both. Full 802.11g wireless access, a 7-inch touch screen, and a built-in Web browser make for a truly interesting combo device.
  

50. Lenovo ThinkPad X60 Tablet
(ultraportable convertible notebook; $2500) Well-designed ultraportables such as the convertible X60 Tablet prove that the venerable ThinkPad line is still in good hands.
  

 

51. Canon EOS 30D
(digital SLR camera; $1499) The successor to Canon's popular 20D camera includes well-designed controls and a bump up in its LCD screen size to 2.5 inches.
  

52. LaLa.com
(music-trading Web site; $1.79 per CD received) List your CD collection through LaLa's efficient Ajax interface, and then trade discs you don't want for ones you do.

53. Google Maps for Mobile
(mapping service; free) Need directions on the go? Try bringing the power of Google Maps to your mobile phone.
Vendor Site

Canon Pixma iP4300

54. Canon Pixma iP4300
(inkjet printer; $90) Sometimes you simply need a solid printer, and Canon's Pixma iP4300 is just that. Beneath its minimalist design lies a fast inkjet that delivers very good image quality.
   

55. Kaspersky Anti-Virus
(antivirus software; $50) PC security is as important as ever, and Kaspersky's fast response to outbreaks makes this a first-rate tool for locking down your PC.
  

56. Microsoft Office 2007
(office suite; $100) Innovation in Microsoft Office? That has to drop the temperature in Hades a few degrees. This year Office got an entirely new interface, built around a toolbar-eliminating "ribbon" that exposes Office's many options.
  

Asus Crosshair

57. Asus Crosshair
(motherboard; $250) Packed with high-quality integrated sound and nearly every port you could ever want, this board for AMD CPUs is an overclocker's delight.
Test Report   

58. Digg.com
(community-based news Web site; free) Whether it's political debates, hot new software, or other sites such as ICanHasCheezburger, Digg.com keeps you plugged in to whatever's hot on the Web at the moment.
Web Site

59. Dell XPS M1210
(ultraportable notebook; $1299 and up) Designing an ultraportable to be an entertainment machine is a tall order, but the XPS M1210 proves that Dell was equal to the task.
  

60. Creative Zen V Plus, 8GB
(MP3 player; $200) Apple's iPod Nano may be more popular, but with FM radio, a built-in mic, and a pretty interface, the Zen V Plus is a better value.
  

 

iTunes

61. Apple iTunes
(digital music software; free) Even without the continually expanding iTunes store, Apple's music-management application would be one of the best around.
 

62. Gigabyte GA-965P-DQ6
(motherboard; $230) Our favorite Intel-based motherboard may be a bit expensive, but Gigabyte's solid construction and reliability make this model a terrific starting point for assembling an Intel-based computer.
Test Report  

Iomega NAS

63. Iomega NAS 1TB
(network-attached storage device; $799) This Iomega NAS features decent performance, but the true highlight is its support for hot-swappable drives.
 

64. Fujifilm FinePix F40fd
(point-and-shoot digital camera; $260) Built-in software detects people's faces to help automatically focus the camera on the correct spot.

Canon MP600

65. Canon MP600
(inkjet multifunction printer; $180) Great paper handling and fast, high-quality prints make up for this multifunction printer's lack of fax functionality.
   

66. 37signals Backpack
(project-management/organizer software; free trial, or $5 per month and up) 37signals deserves its rep for building great, tightly focused applications. Backpack helps you manage projects through a simple interface that permits you to grab data from lots of sources.

67. LG Electronics BH100
(high-def video player; $1200) Why take sides in a format war when LG's player can handle both Blu-ray and HD DVD media?
  

68. Craigslist.org
(Web-based classified ads; free) From housing and jobs to personals and free stuff, you can find almost anything on Craigslist.
Web Site

69. BBB.org
(consumer Web site; free) The venerable advocacy organization is still tirelessly looking out for Joe and Jane Consumer.
Web Site

70. Fujitsu ScanSnap s500
(scanner; $495) Is the ScanSnap s500 the last scanner you'll ever buy? In a world where documents are increasingly created digitally, it very well may be.
  

 

NEC MultiSync90GX2

71. NEC MultiSync 90GX2
(19-inch LCD monitor; $300) As workhorse monitors go, NEC's glossy-screen MultiSync 90GX2 is quite the thoroughbred. Hey, we can't all have gigantic wide-screen LCDs gracing our desks.
   

72. Adobe CS3
(graphics software suite; $450 and up) You'll pay an arm and a leg for Adobe's latest Creative Suite, but for creative pros its improved multithreading support and updates to all of Adobe's critical apps are worth it.
  

Dell XPS410

73. Dell XPS 410
(power desktop; $2033) Dell's XPS 410 isn't the most powerful high-end desktop you can find, but its easy setup, minimal bundle of preinstalled trial applications, and clean design all make it a great value.
   

74. Meebo
(instant messaging; free) If you've ever traveled without a notebook, you'll appreciate Meebo. Log in, and you have access to all your IM contacts in a neat little Web-based app--no installation required.

75. Process Explorer
(system utility; free) Like Task Manager on steroids, Process Explorer shows you exactly what's running on your system in minute detail.

Wacom Graphire

76. Wacom Graphire Bluetooth 6x8 Pen Tablet
(input device; $249) Whether you're an artist or you simply prefer pen-based interaction with your desktop, Wacom's Graphire tablets are accurate and affordable.
 

77. VMWare Player
(virtualization software; free) Before you install another application you just aren't sure about,  the free VMWare Player. Then try that app out in a virtual machine where it can't mess up your PC.
Vendor Site

78. Emusic
(digital music; starts at $10 per month for 30 s) The service still sticks to high-profile independent music, but Emusic sold DRM-free tunes long before EMI got on board.
Web Site

Tivo Series3 HD

79. TiVo Series3 HD Digital Media Recorder
(DVR; $800) With the Series3, TiVo fanatics can now record up to 32 hours of HD or 300 hours of standard-def programming, even from two channels at once--that is, if they can get their cable provider to give them a CableCard.
   

80. Netvibes
(customizable home page; free) Construct your very own home page with as much or as little of the Net as you like. You can even add e-mail and calendar modules.
Web Site

 

81. TripAdvisor
(travel community site; free) The granddaddy of travel community sites, TripAdvisor is unequaled in the breadth and depth of its hotel s and in its forums, where you invariably find users who can answer the most specific destination questions.
Web Site

MacBook Pro

82. Apple MacBook Pro
(power notebook; $1999 and up) The latest iteration of Apple's beautiful MacBook design has fast Core 2 Duo CPUs and ATI Radeon graphics chips--great for OS X or Boot Camp-ing into Windows for a little gaming.
   

83. Avira AntiVir Personal Edition Classic
(antivirus software; free) One of the few good, free antivirus applications left, Avira's AntiVir is perfect for troubleshooting a dodgy system.
  

84. Ning.com
(community Web site; free) Marc Andreesen's latest venture lets you quickly build MySpace-like community sites focused around whatever interests you have.

85. Check Point Software ZoneAlarm Internet Security Suite
(security software; $50) This utility bundles a Kaspersky antivirus engine with the inimitable ZoneAlarm firewall.
   Store

Sansa Connect

86. SanDisk Sansa Connect
(MP3 player; $250) Far better than Microsoft's Zune, the Sansa Connect lets you listen to Internet radio or  songs over any open Wi-Fi connection.
   

87. VirusTotal.com
(security Web site; free) This site is a great resource if you suspect your antivirus software has fallen short. Upload a file, and VirusTotal runs it through 32 antivirus engines.

88. Flurry
(mobile e-mail; free) Even people who don't own a PDA phone sometimes need a quick e-mail fix.
Flurry provides it, via an easy-to-set-up Java app that runs on most recent phones and works like a charm.

89. Oki Printing Solutions C3400n
(color laser printer; $400) Oki's compact, entry-level color laser is a great fit for a small office, with high-quality text output and fast color prints.
  

90. nVidia GeForce 8800 GTX
(graphics chip set; $550 and up) This offering is still the fastest in DirectX 10 graphics, apart from nVidia's crazy $1000 GeForce 8800 Ultra.

 

Windows Media Player 11

91. Microsoft Windows Media Player 11
(digital music software; free) Microsoft added album-art matching, tossed in improved searching capabilities, and introduced a completely redesigned interface to this version of Media Player. The result: a media manager you'll actually want to use.
 

92. Netflix Watch Now
(movie rental service; $5 per month and up) Netflix has long been a popular favorite, and the addition of streaming online movies to the mix only makes the service better.
Vendor Site

Audacity

93. Audacity
(audio editing; free) Another free-software triumph, Audacity is where it's at for quick-and-dirty manipulation of audio files.
 

94. Congoo
(Web news/information service; free) On this specialized news site, you can search and read content that's normally locked away behind a paid-subscription wall.

95. Adblock Plus
(browser plug-in; free) Tired of slow page loads and flashing Web ads? AdBlock Plus (for Mozilla-based browsers such as Firefox) can speed up and clean up your surfing.

96. Buffalo Nfiniti Dual Band Gigabit Router & Access Point
(wireless router; $130) This is the first draft-802.11n router to also support 802.11b/g/a Wi-Fi gear and gigabit ethernet.

Panasonic HDC-SD1

97. Panasonic HDC-SD1
(HD camcorder; $1500) This exceptionally light camcorder records HD video to a 4GB SD Card, with impressive quality.
   

Logitech Harmony 880 Advanced Universal Remote

98. Logitech Harmony 880 Advanced Universal Remote
(universal remote control; $249) Logitech's Harmony remotes bring something new to your home-theater setup: sanity. The 880's color screen makes setting up and controlling a variety of devices easy.
   

99. Sling Media SlingPlayer Mobile
(mobile video player; $30) Just when you thought Slingbox couldn't make video more portable, this app brings your media to compatible Windows Smartphone or Pocket PC devices.
Vendor Site

100. Shure SE210
(headphones; $150) These entry-level Shure in-ear headphones pump out impressive sound via a single-driver design.
  

Technology Barometer

Solid-state storage: Dell, Fujitsu, and Sony (among others) already offer notebook models carrying Solid State Disks based entirely on flash. Models providing 32GB of storage have reached a semiaffordable $450 premium over 60GB hard drives on ultraportable machines, while 64GB notebook-size drives are also available. Even 128GB models have been announced, and some might even be affordable for the military and governments of most industrialized nations.

LED backlights: Compared with standard CCFL backlights, LEDs improve color reproduction while lowering power consumption. Formerly seen only in super-high-end monitors and HDTVs, LED backlights are poised to go mainstream over the next couple of years. Sony uses them on its VAIO SZ laptop line, and Samsung plans to introduce an entire LCD monitor line with LED backlights this year.

Ajax/Web 2.0: On the one hand, Ajax and Web 2.0 have clearly revitalized the Web. On the other, Web 2.0 security concerns are just beginning to rear their ugly heads. At the same time, many rich Web applications like Zimbra have begun to add offline capability.

DRM: EMI hopped off the bandwagon this April, announcing that it would offer DRM-free music through iTunes and other music stores. Plus, hackers are already all over the AACS system that protects Blu-ray and HD-DVD movies. Hollywood and the RIAA won't give in anytime soon, but the writing is on the wall.

Powerline networking: As many people seeking to stream media through the home have already realized, 802.11b, -g, and -n wireless networks just don't cut it, especially in a crowded urban environment. Powerline networking in general, and the HomePlug AV standard in particular, is poised to profit from the inevitable consumer discontent--especially as electronics vendors begin to incorporate powerline adapters into products such as set-top boxes.

 

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Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Enjoy .................

 
Q.What do you call a Beengali Metalhead????
A.BABU-MOSH-I
 
Q.What would u call MEGADETH if they would upgrade their server?????
A.GIGADETH
 
Q.What would you call Dave Mustaine if he wore a yellow shirt????
A.DAVE MUSTARD
 
Q.WHAT DO YU CALL THE PROCESS OF SCRAPPING...nd then goingto the bathroom and peeing .. and AFTER tht DOING STUFF!?!?!?!?!?!
A.SCRAP-PEE-DOO
 
Q.WHICH IS THE OLDST ANIMAL??!?!?!?!?
A.ZEBRA...............COZ ITS BLACK AND WHITE
 
Q.WHAT DID LTTLE JOHNNY SAY WHEN HE SAW COINS FALLING FROM THE SKY?!?!?!?!?!
A. there is CHANGE in weather!!!!!
 
Q. What is height of Suicide?
A. A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.
 
Q.whats the height of shakespeare>!>!>!>??!?!?!?!?
A. 6 feet
 
Q.if yu add one molecule of barium to sodium of 2 molecules..........what do yu get?!?!?!?!
A.BANANA
   didnt get it??!?!??
   (As barium = BA and sodium = NA and since soduim is of 2 molecules BANANA)
 
Q.Wat do clones buy at the mall??
A. denim genes!!!
 
Q.A sardar goes to movie with 17 sardars why?????????????
A. coz it was an adult movie n below 18 were not allowed
 
Q.Wat did the rabbit buy its fiancée???
A. a 24-carrot ring
 

ACTUALLY HEARD 2 KIDS SAYING THIS -
 
KID1 - If I kill u, u'll die..
 
KID2 - If u kill me, I'll also kill u..
 
Q. 3 cockroaches are walking on the road. Suddenly 1 of them starts singing 'Nothing Else Matters' And the other 2 die immediately. Why?
A. Because it was a HIT song.
 
Q. WHAT IS FORUM!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
A . TWO-UM + TWO-UM
 
Q. WHAT DO YU CALL BRAD PITT AND ANGELINA JOLIE FLYING AN AEROPLANE IN A BOX OFFIC MOVIE?!!?!?!??!
A . AERO-SMITH
    (pitt + jolie= mr & mrs smith)....just fer intllectual explanaton
 
Q. why did aaamir khan fail his kindergardn english exam?!?!!
A. wen teacher asked him wat comes after A.......................................he replied KYA BOLTI TU
 
Q. Why cant's hippopotamus lie?????
A. coz HIPS DON"T LIE!!!

 

Monday, May 21, 2007

YAPJC *

Q - In a pond there are 10 fish, one of them dies, and the water level of
the pond increases. How?




.. scroll...

























A - The other 9 fish are crying.................



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Once 5 CHIPKALIs (house lizards) : Phulwa, RaamPyaari,
RaamDulari,RaamPuri and RaamChuri were crawling on the wall when
all of a sudden, Phulwa started to sing a song. The moment Phulwa
stopped singing the song, RaamPyaari,RaamDulari, RaamPuri and RaamChuri
fell down from the wall !!!... WHY ???


scroll down for answer. . . . . . . . .
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coz, they all started clapping !!!!


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What wud u call a Gal who never laughs....?
- ...and the Answer
is..........
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- HASINA !



Whatz a PJ ?
Obviously "a poor joke"





Whatz a (P + i J)?









- A "complex poor joke"


Why don't people laugh on a "complex poor joke" ?

- scroll down for answer.......





















































- Bcoz the joke part of it is imaginary.



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A railway station beggar meets another beggar.
A software engineer meets another software engineer.
Both of them ask the same question to each other.
What is the question?











































"So, which platform are you working on?"










*****************************-*************************
Question: Two hairs on a bald man's head fall in love with each
other and want to get married, but cannot.
Why?







;;;;;;;;;;;


\\


\\











Ans: Because under Indian laws, "baal vivaah" is illegal.


*YAPJC = Yet Another PJ Collection

~Nishant

Tomatoes

An unemployed man is desperate to support his family of a wife and three kids.

He applies for a janitor's job at a large firm and easily passes an aptitude test. The human resources manager tells him, "You will be  hired at minimum wage of $5.15 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address so that we can get you in the loop. Our system will automatically e-mail you all the forms and advise you when to start and where to report on your first day. "Taken back, the man protests that he is poor and has neither a computer nor an e-mail address. To this the manager replies, "You must understand that to a company like ours that means that you virtually do not exist. Without an e-mail address you can hardly expect to be employed by a high-techfirm. Good day."
Stunned, the man leaves.
Not knowing where to turn and having $10 in his wallet, he walks past a farmers' market and sees a stand selling 25lb crate of beautiful red tomatoes. He buys a crate, carries it to a busy corner and displays the tomatoes. In less than 2 hours he sells all the tomatoes and makes 100% profit. Repeating the process several times more that day, he ends up with almost $100 and arrives home that night with several bags of groceries for his family. During the night he decides to repeat the tomato business the next day. By the end of the week he is getting up early every day and working into the night. He multiplies his profits quickly. Early in the second week he acquires a cart to transport several boxes of tomatoes at a time, but before a month is up he sells the cart to buy a broken down pickup truck. At the end of a year he owns three old trucks. His two sons have left their neighborhood gangs to help him with the tomato business, his wife is buying the tomatoes, and his daughter is taking night courses at the community college so she can keep books for him. By the end of the second year he has a dozen very nice used trucks and employs fifteen previously unemployed people, all selling tomatoes. He continues to work hard.
Time passes and at the end of the fifth year he owns a fleet of nice trucks and a warehouse which his wife supervises, plus two tomato farms that the boys manage. The tomato company's payroll has put hundreds of homeless and jobless people to work. His daughter reports that the business grossed a million dollars. Planning for the future, he decides to buy some life insurance. Consulting with an insurance adviser, he picks an insurance plan to fit his new circumstances. Then the adviser asks him for his e-mail address in order to send the final documents electronically. When the man replies that he doesn't have time to mess with a computer and has no e- mail address, the insurance man is stunned, "What, you don't have e-mail?
No computer?
No Internet?
Just think where you would be today if you'd had all of that five years ago!"
"Ha!" snorts the man.
"If I'd had e-mail five years ago I would be sweeping floors at Microsoft and making $5.15 an hour."

Which brings us to the moral: Since you got this story by e-mail, you're probably closer to being a janitor than a millionaire.

Sadly, I received it also
 

 

~Nishant

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Diary of wife and husband

HER DIARY

Sunday night I thought he was acting weird.

We had made plans to meet at a cafe to have some coffee. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.

Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and absent.

I asked him what was wrong - he said, "Nothing."

I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving.

I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love you, too."

When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.

He just sat there and watched TV; he seemed distant and absent.

Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed.

I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep.

I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep.

I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.

My life is a disaster.

HIS DIARY

Today India lost. DAMN IT.
 
 

Ageing

HAVE YOU BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, "SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD?"

I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST.

I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.

SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 40-ODD YEARS AGO.

COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN??

UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.

THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE.

HMMM, OR COULD HE???

AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED
CENTRAL HIGH SCHOOL.

"YES. YES, I DID. "HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.

"WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?" I ASKED.

HE ANSWERED, "IN 1957. WHY DO YOU ASK?"

"YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!" I EXCLAIMED.

HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY

THEN, THAT UGLY, OLD, WRINKLED SON-OF-A-BITCH ASKED,

" WHAT DID YOU TEACH?"

Friday, May 18, 2007

Why did the hen cross the road ?



Why did the hen cross the road? 


Nursery Kid : To go on the other side.

Kurt Cobain : She really had no exciting life. She'd rather be hated for who she is, than loved for who she is not.  There are a lot of things she have would done, instead of just sitting around and hatching eggs and then complaining about having a boring life. So I would pretty much like to say it was better for the hen to burn out than fade away.

Eric Clapton : I mean, it didn't matter to me that the hen crossed the road, it didn't matter. Just the melody as she sung the immigrant song while crossing was so captivating that it helped me to get rid of those inhibitions. I mean, the sound was so hypnotic and addictive to me, that I could cross any kind of border with the hen to go wherever she goes.

Bruce Dickinson : For the greater good of God.

Brittney Spears : You know baby, the hen just did it again. The hen and I are friends no matter what the media makes up. I always meet that hen because we're so close. We're almost like sisters, and we're also close because our moms are sisters. So I know the reason why she crossed. She saw a cock and maybe she did not want to wait to have S** until she was married. Oops I forgot to say the hen also liked rock and roll like me! She also sung that song in one of my shows you know.

John Lennon : Imagine all the hens, especially the middle east one's, crossing roads in peace.

David Gilmour : The hen's ideology has depth, and attempts philosophical thought and meaning with discussions of infinity, eternity and mortality to follow. There is a line which people cross that turns it into some magical, mystical realm, for which I don't claim responsibility and don't hold any great truck with. The hen crossed that very line.

Eddie Vedder : The hen did not need drugs to make her life tragic. I just think that all of us in this room should have a voice in how the USA reacts to this situation. And he doesn’t allow us our voice, that's all I'm saying.

Madonna :  Deep in its heart the hen was concealing things that she was longing to say. Scared to confess what she felt - frightened she stood. Finally it decided to be brave and cross the road. A lot of people are afraid to do what they want. That's why they don't get what they want. The hen got what she wanted.

Jim Morrison : The hen was a drug addict. It was not in its senses as it crossed the road. She knew that death would make angel of her and give her wings where she had shoulders smooth as ravens claws. People fear death even more than pain. It's strange that they fear death. Life hurts a lot more than death. At the point of death, the pain is over. Yeah, I guess the hen knew that Death is her only friend. I think a truck went over her as she crossed. She went on a unknown journey.

Bono - The hen wanted to have fun, and she wanted to change the world. She had a chance to do both. She did it.

Jimi Hendrix - The hen made me feel sad. After a while I started getting aware of her crossing the road, it started to bring me down a little bit. I got a pet monkey called Charlie Chan. It used to trouble that hen. Due to this depression she finally decided to cross the road and leave this old Nebraska town.

Robert Plant - Yes, I have confirmed this with Jimmy. The hen did cross. It's sort of a feeling of power. It's really the ability to make people smile, or just to turn them one way or another for that duration of time, and for it to have some effect later on. I don't really think its power... it's the goodness...and the aura that the hen left us with as she crossed the road.

Freddie Mercury :   Cause it wanted to break free and that's the reason that most of these media people don’t understand.

Jon Bon Jovi : The hen wanted to attend my Piano lessons. That's why she crossed the road. This inspired my band to make 'Crossroads'. Piano playing is a dying art. I love the fact that I can be one guy with one instrument evoking an emotional and musical experience. A lot of hens and cats are my students. Apart from that you know I can sing. The hen knows that too. George Bush knows that. I mean I really can. Why do you think Bon Jovi is such a big hit? ..ugh..did I hear Sambora?

Eminem : The hen knew who the real slim shady was. It was the f* hen. It was f* Brittney Spears and she f* stood up and crossed the f* road. The hen was no one else but Spears. Trust me as my nigga Dr. Dre will f* tell you exactly the f* same.

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