Sunday, May 25, 2008

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Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Letter is from Banta Singh of Punjab to Mr. Bill Gates of Microsoft

Subject: Problems with my new computer

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some
problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request
you to check this.
2. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friends clicked 'run'
he ran up to Amritsar ! So, we request you to change that to 'sit',
so that we can click that by sitting.

3. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I
find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

4. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost
the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this ' find'
button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.

5. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft
sentence', so when you will provide that?

6. I brought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one
icon which shows 'MY Computer': when you will provide the remaining
items?

7. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is
noteven a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in
that.

8. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use
the PC at home only..

9. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past
Documents'?

10. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God shake please do not
provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where
I go after my office hours.

Regards,

Banta

Last one from me to Mr Bill Gates :

Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but u are selling WINDOWS,_._,___
________________________________

Monday, May 12, 2008

FW: miss india 2008(Parvathy Omanakuttan)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friday, May 9, 2008

Meet Rediff & Yahoo! India CEO @ SmartTechie StartupCity

Hello,

So many cool products are built in Bangalore and gets rolled out in global markets. Surely you want to meet management of those startups, see their product and learn about new technologies they use.

The SmartTechie is organizing Startup City on Saturday May 24, 2008 at Nimhans Convention Center in Bangalore. This is a technology showcase event wherein cool startups demo the products they are building. There will be over 60 startup companies.

REGISTER FREE:
http://www.thesmarttechie.com/startupcity

- Watch live product demonstrations
- Get a peek into cutting edge technologies
- Lay hands on the best-of-breed solutions
- Meet young, energetic, passionate geeks
- Experience the culture of innovation
- Learn new technologies

Some of the companies at the Startupcity include:
Akamai,MetricStream, Sloka Telecom, Sonic Wall, mobisy, Pramati, Yodlee, Netmagic Solutions, SOA Matrix, NetWeb Technologies,Druvaa, Netcore, Soliton, Axiom DA. Many more companies will be there.

FEATURING
Visionary Keynotes
In-depth Panel Discussions
Happy Hours
Bird-of-a-Feather Gathering

Some of the speakers include:
Ajit Balakrishnan, founder & CEO, Rediff.com
Sharad Sharma, CEO, Yahoo! India
Paul Murphy, Director of Innovation, Microsoft India
Suresh Vedula, Head - Business Mobility, Nokia India
Rajendra Mishra, Change India Movement
Ashish Gupta, Managing Director, Helion Ventures

There will be exciting sessions on:
From Concept to Success:: Milestones for startups
Where VCs Are Investing? When and How to Raise Money?
Consumers and Business Marketing in High Technology
Startup Essentials
The Social Media Revolution: What's Ahead

CEO CONCLAVE
Alongside the Startup City exhibition and seminars, we are holding a close-door CEO roundtable, which will be attended by CEOs and Managing Directors of over 150 startups. The roundtable will facilitate an informal discussion amongst the senior management about the best practices of managing a startup in India, what works, what does't work, potential pitfalls and other challenges.

Sun Microsystems, Microsoft, Nokia & Amazon are sponsoring this event.

REGISTER FREE:
http://www.thesmarttechie.com/startupcity

Startups are always a nice place to work in. If you are working in a startup or want to join a startup or launch your own startup, this is an event you shouldn't be missing.

Thanks
The SmartTechie

Friday, April 11, 2008

Rajini Vs Jayalalitha.....funny

Rajnikant was bragging to Jayalalitha one day, "You know, I know everyone
Just name someone, anyone, and I knowthem
.

Tired of his boasting, Jayalalitha called his bluff, "OK, Rajini how about
Tom Cruise?"


"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it"
Rajini said.

So Rajini and Jayalalitha fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's
door,

and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts:--- "Thalaiva! Great to see you! You and your
friend come right in and join me for lunch!"


....Although impressed, Jayalalitha is still skeptical.After they leave
Cruise's house, she tells Rajini that she thinks Rajini knowing Cruise was
just lucky.

"No, no, just name anyone else"
Rajini says

..."President Bush",
Jayalalitha quickly retorts

...."Yes",
Rajini says, "I know him .

And off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Rajini on the tour and
motions him, saying, :----"Rajini, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a
meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee
first and catch up".


Well, Jayalalitha is much shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. Af
ter they leave the White House grounds, he implores her to name anyone else.

"The Pope,"
Jayalalitha replies

...."Sure!"
says Rajini, "My folks are from Germany and I've known the Pope a
long time".


Rajini and Jayalalitha are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when
Rajini says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all
these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go
upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."


And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican .. Su re enough,
half an hour later Rajini emerges with the Pope on the balcony.

But by the time Rajini returns, he finds that Jayalalitha has had a heart
attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Wo rking his way to Jayalalitha's
side, Rajini asks her, "What happened?"

Jayalalitha looks up and says, "I was doing fine until u and the pope came
out on the balcony and the man next to me said,



*

*
*

*
*

*
"Who's that on the balcony with Rajini?"

Friday, April 4, 2008

Will u re-marry?

An Interesting Conversation -- Must Read

An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem science has with God, The Almighty. He asks one of his new students to stand and.....

Prof : So you believe in God?
Student: Absolutely, sir.

Prof: Is God good?
Student: Sure.

Prof: Is God all-powerful?
Student: Yes.

Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't. How is this God good then? Hmm?
Student is silent.

Prof: You can't answer, can you?
Let's start again, young fellow. Is God good?
Student: Yes.

Prof: Is Satan good?
Student: No.

Prof: Where does Satan come from?
Student: From...God...

Prof: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student: Yes.

Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct?
Student: Yes.

Prof: So who created evil?
Student does not answer.

Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?
Student: Yes, sir.

Prof: So, who created them?
Student has no answer.

Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son...Have you ever seen God?
Student: No, sir.

Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your God?
Student: No, sir.

Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?
Student: No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

Prof: Yet you still believe in Him?
Student: Yes.

Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student: Nothing. I only have my faith.

Prof: Yes Faith. And that is the problem science has.

Now the student said can I ask something to you Professor.

Student: Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Prof: Yes.

Student : And is there such a thing as cold?
Prof: Yes.

Student: No sir. There isn't.

(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)

Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?

Student: You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something.
You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light... But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn't it? In reality, darkness isn't. If it were you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?
Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man?

Student: Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?

Student: Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?


Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.


Student: Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?


(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going.)

Student: Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class is in uproar.)

Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?


(The class breaks out into laughter.)

Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Prof: I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.
Student: That is it sir... The link between man & god is FAITH. That is all that keeps things moving & alive. .


WANT TO KNOW WHO THAT STUDENT WAS?

This is a true story, and the student was none other than

DR. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam

--
Nishant V. Patel

Monday, March 31, 2008

ATTORNEY

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are
things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now
published by court reporters

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a
pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
practicing law.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Fwd: Origin of the Human Race

Origin of the Human Race

A little girl asked her mother: How did the human race appear?The mother

answered: God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was all

mankind made.

Two days later she asks her father the same question.The father answered:

Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race was

developed.The confused girl returns to her mother and says: Mom', how is it

possible that you told me that the human race was created by God and Papa

says they were developed from monkeys.

The mother answers: Well dear, it is very simple. I told you about the

origin of my side of the family while your father told you about his side..

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